Finally had my first wisdom tooth experience. I was oblivious to the fact that most people even those that are younger than me had already removed most of their wisdom tooth. It was a thrilling experience. My tooth's roots were curved inwards, so the dental had much difficulty removing it. I felt that my jaw was gonna pop when the pressure was being enforced. It was a small clinic, but it was rather cosy and less intimating with a mac monitor switched on with its itunes songs playing to lighten ones anxiety. Among that list of songs, the only song i heard was Unbreak my Heart by Toni Braxton which i had to fought back tears in the end. Not quite the right song at that point of time.


After the 1hour operation, i was released with what felt like a ping pong ball in my mouth, made of what felt like a terrible bruise from a punch or a fall. I couldn't even manage to wash my own face and have to sleep on certain posture to prevent my face from touching anything. The bleeding didnt stop till 2 hours later, and i can still taste blood in mouth. My mouth were restricted to open for the consumption of food, lets just say some the the utensils are simply too big for my mouth. Day 1, i ate nothing. Day 2 i had half a bowl of porridge, Campbell Soup and a slice of bread. Day 3, i had soup again, but begin eating rice and noodles at a pathetic amount. Day 4, i finally got eat a proper meal but i couldn't eat in my usual speed. Most food still kinda taste blunt. Day 5 which is today i had my first Ritz biscuit.

Next week I'll be back to the clinic to remove my stitches, i hope i don't have to start the whole cycle again.
Spend the only weekend with Sam watching Aliens 2-4. Woo indeed it was good!

Now i need to spend time reading on these fellows.

Time checked: 412am

The situation: Ber in labor (in unmeasurable pain)
I could never imagine myself going into motherhood without thinking of the pain. All woman that gave birth are more noble than the word itself. No words can describe how proud i am of her.
Baby boy is on the way, hang in there!


Im still awake on Friday night/ Saturday morning reading up on art history so that i could go on with my assignments. Many times having flashbacks of the time loss and the regrets of not advancing into an art school. Very naturally, i think of my parents being the main source of my loss and regrets. One is making up to me financially, but no one could make up for my loss of time by myself. For years i stood in an imaginary enclosed cage I've made to build out of the negative agendas received for myself. Time went right pass me as i sit there, seeing envy, smelling the remorse. Never once i tried to do anything without thinking of the probability of failing. I was never good at gauging probability while doing Emaths. I should have know better.

It is completely pointless crying over split milk right now while craving for a bowl of La Mian Laksa by prima taste. Juxtaposing cleaning up the mess from cooking and satisfying my cravings.   My hairs' not yet dry and Im not in a mood for a loud blow dryer. They scares me after i switch them off returning to the quiet night. It invites horror to my fugitive mind.Now i wonder if I've used fugitive correctly? Sometimes, i cant explain why certain words comes to my head when im writing. At most times i dont know its meanings. It just kinda seems that i have read it somewhere or someone had used that word for a similar meaning that Im trying to interpret.

I've successfully spend approximately 4 hours of reading today, probably the longest time subconsciously.
From post modernism to cubism to surrealism to paintings from dali, bacon, rene, cezanne and Jack the Ripper.
My mind is screaming for air and i need sleep.
But on the other hand, my body refuses to head for the bed, using my damp hair as an excuse.


It is almost effortless to blog this entry, but quite the opposite for my essay.
Im so eager to complete my DVC thesis but have no clue on how i should write it.
Fine, I'll leave it for Sunday night.

Random images from instagram - my new addiction (FB is a passe)

Anger, disappointment, empathy and all the other family and relatives of the passive. I began self reproaching. I dampen the pillow while lying on my bed endeavoring the agony, panting frantically from exhaustion. Controlling my thoughts : I don't have time for this, Get back on your feet! I felt my heart beat harder as it accommodates the sore and broken soul.

I hope I wake up from this nightmare.
Soon.