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Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I am going insane with the work here in the middle of the night.
its been one week of not working and i already pissed myself off
from the pms as well as Sam.
Now i dont know if he's gonna forgive me.
Im always acting like a Queen when i got my pms,
and i swear to god, it wasnt intentional.
Hence, i send out a couple of resumes, intending to start some part time job while i study during the day.
I have also made a list of the amount of money i need to fulfill
certain things, and the conclusion?

Im glad i quit smoking ( no more of $10 gone every 3 days)
I probably cant travel anymore for this year,
unless my dad gonna sponsor me through...

So no more dinning outside, even if im zombie-ing.
I would stock up grocceries at home.
After all... home cooked food are healthier isnt it?

Ah! i kinda have thoughts going back to p-serv as a part timer.
but im really sick of all the annoying SOPs...
Im gonna miss the duty free shops, as well as my colleagues!

The balloon i was hugging was given by lisha.
Im not a fan of ballons, but this isnt the rubbery sort that im afraid of.
I was hugging it because that tank top i was wearing,
is basically showing too much of my boobs... =/



Lisha and me.
This was a self organize party.
To be honest, i almost gave it up because of a few miggets not attending at the very last minute.
Im glad i didnt though... and im extrememly proud of myself for putting it together all by myself.
From the marketing to the cooking, to the decorating and to the cleaning!

Heres what i whipped up for the party.



Fried Croquette
Everyone's favorite! i thought i would have to swallow most of it by myself
but it was completely consumed by the ladies in a flash.
There's also a homemade sauce along with it, guess noone took picture
of the sauce (Made of mayonnaise, egg, japanese cucumber, mustard and salt.)
Very refreshing in my opinion and they of cause love it too!

This is a must cook dish for Sam thats only after he simmers down though..
hmmm... =(

Pagoda Fried Chicken Wings
Just your regular fried chicken...



Home made nuggets
I bought fresh chicken breast, cut them into pieces, coat them with flour and Calbee hot and spicy potato chips.
It looks good, but a little bland.
I thought the seasoning from the chips would be sufficient.
The next time i make these, i make sure i season my chicken breast before frying!

Aglio Olio

Okonomiyaki aka Japanese pizza
Basically its made of shredded cabbage and the ingredients you want.
I added chicken hotdogs, crabmeat and onions.
Instead of using Okonomiyaki sauce which i have none,
i subsitute it with BBQ sauce instead, along with mayonnaise
and bonito flakes.


Chocolate Fondue
-Marshmallows
- Strawberries
- Grapes
- Banana

Headed over to Highlander for the night
with birthday girl Elena.
LOVE that Bellini that i ordered.
I think im gonna go buy a bottle of champagne very soon.


My room mate in SGN - Geraldine

Alright, now i need a glass of cold water and a hot shower..... ...

Running tru the monsoon





Tuesday, June 21, 2011
I've officially left my job and moving on to the next phrase of my life.
Very misty and uncertain as well.
But im all set for success this time, working abroad shouldnt be a dream.
Even if i couldnt due to unforeseen circumstances.
I gotta make sure im doing what i adore with the remaining youth.
This full year of working and travelling had definately widens my mind.
I am a lot more tolerant to people around me especially the foreigners.
Im a foreigner myself when im travelling, its really nice when the locals
there smile at you or say a simple hello.

It warms you up immediately.
People were patience despite communication barriers.
When i think back, i was annoyed and frustrated most of the times
when i have to repeat myself to the passengers for the 3rd time while i slow myself down in the most sarcastic manner as if talking to a toddler, ending with a pretencious smile.

Back when i was in Siem Reap, those smiles were genuiene.
It was a huge humiliation, to the imitation. Like myself.


When a fake meets a authentic = Shame


Sam, my job and the overseas experience had completely mould me into a different person and not forgettin that horrible severe discoid enczema im suffering from that almost cost me my life.


Nothing beats listening to your inner self.



The eczema that i had was so bad, that i couldnt bear looking at my own reflection in the mirror.

I see myself as a monster because i know thats how the world gonna see me.

I was petrified and lost.

"What if it never recovers? what if im scared for life? which i already am?"

I always hated my 16cm scar on my right arm.
Never had i wore anything revealing it.
Who all these negativity, i almost ended my life.
Noone knew, i knock my head against the wall.
I climb on the window. The height scares me to death literally!
Sam told me i should donate my organs if i really want to.
A statement of no help.

I went searching for that yellow form which say sth about my organs.
I took a small sip of detol.
I wanted to die, but i couldnt, if only i have some magical ways to summon a huge amount of courage to do so.

I didnt die, but i changed.
So would this blog.
Im done with trying to blog with a thesaurus.
( To some unknown that im trying to impress?)
Im done with acting like i have a lot of friends.
By going out with groups of people that i dont enjoy!
Pretending to be close, snapping pictures away to prove god knows who or what? Spend too much time on mainting my brown hair,
where i forgot i have a brain undernealth, hidden and un-used..

No more brown hair for the time being so that i
wouldnt keep screaming at my black roots.

 

Running tru the monsoon