Im left with 1 more focus group findings to finish up then i would be completely done.
I aim to complete it and hand it up by Monday.
With my second project already started, im not so worried and stressed up anymore.

Then i could have the whole of the holidays doing reading and perhaps some traveling. However, i do have reservations for an overseas holiday. Firstly, i feel bad spending my dad's moolah, secondly im fearful of the extra pounds.

These days, i find myself struggling deep within. Sometimes, i dont like the way i react to people. Body language comes naturally but my brains seems so desperately wanting to be in control.
I dont really know if this is the real me underneath the suppression for years or stress have mold me into another.
Also, i find it hard to trust anyone. Not in a way that im doubtful and suspicious. More like i dont let loose myself  to people anymore. I prefer to keep mum about my feelings and thoughts.
Its conventional but not intentional.



Back to my article writing with coffee through the night.

I have no fucking clue what's wrong with me today.
I am not in the mood for everything and anything getting more frustrated with myself lately.
PMS maybe..

Agri and i posed for a shoot for MDIS upcoming open house and it was in my papers today.
My aunt got so excited, knock on my door and shouting for me.
She claims she doesn't recognize my clothes but had spotted by nose. #%^%$&#$#^@.






Im even suffering from a writer's block.
FML.
Ill go sleep, no promises on going to school tml.

Im close to finishing my DVC project except for the article itself.
Preparing my presentation for tml, really dont wanna be dumbfounded with no answers.
Hopefully i could finish my FMB magazine article today too.
So i could focus on the new project and dump the group work nonsense.
I hate working in groups, im not good at it either.






Enjoying a cup of hot tea at the same time, listening to my second CD from Angels Fall.
Chance upon this tea yesterday while at the supermarket, its suppose to increase fat metabolism and all other good things that meant to help in digestion.



Its basically a health drink so... i try it out.. why not right?
since i really like drinking tea and it looks really pretty too.

Dinner on friday.




The freshly bought salmon cost me $12!!
So I've decided to turn the other dishes to poverty.
I used garlic herb spread instead of the usual  butter for the salmon.
Quite a good choice really im gonna upload this recipe up next!


PS: i mopped my room twice last week and its still clean and neat!
MEGA PROUD!

The White Crow/Black Crow

Sources: http://www.squidoo.com/crow1
http://thecrow.tripod.com/myth.html


Well certainly i wish a better omen since ive seen one of the rarest bird on earth in this small red dot is simply extradiordinary enough to bother the least.

This is gonna be another day full of assignments.
Im learning how to be consistent to avoid piling up the work and giving myself more stress.
Also, the feeling of insignificants from not doing my research, its a pain.

A couple of days back.
We had a out of the class learning at orchard.
We had our times at hermes, zara, miu miu, dior etc.
A total of about 7-10 stores for the entire afternoon before heading back to work at the very last minute.

Nadja suggested this place for lunch.
Domani
I probably had been there a few years back with LS now that i recall.
Value for money - huge amount - decent on the taste bud.

I ordered the lunch set.
Comes with soup of the day and your choice of drinks.
I had roselle tea and it spells awesome if you're a tea lover!



       Petit Platter


Dumping lingerie into the washing machine is indeed my forte.
So ive got to buy new ones since i spoil them all.
These are from CK departmentat stores and Gmarket.



Sephora Raves
Sephora Raves
Sephora Raves

And finally a room that shouts me.
I've invested quite an amount for it ever since i started working at pserv.

Time Check: 0341hrs

Writing my 2 page spread magazine artical on general trends of upgrading.
Sam was right, i cant be writing when im all stressed up.
So here i am writing since 0130hrs.
Topics are written in order, all points of discussion covered.
All i need to do now is to rephrase my sentences to a comfortable flow.
Listening to the newly added song, Sophia by Nerina Palk.
I got to know this song from my newly bought CD from That CD Shop.
The last time i bought a CD was most likely during my secodary school days of punk perhaps?
Linkin park, hoobastank, sum 41, arvil lavigne etc.
From then on its all just downloading, youtube and 987fm.
Tired of the commercialize music, i turned to a CD shop and start listening to random music genres and thats when i found the perfect CD for all occassion especially when im doing my assignments at home.
I go crazy with pop and main stream songs, very often singing to it and i ended up losing all concentraion.

Seriously...
i didnt blog the entire month!

This just shows how caught up i am with work and school.
When i was blogging real regularly, i have to think of what to blog.
Now that i dont, my fingers moved on like i have a pianist in me. (i used to be one though)
Well, ive finally started college few months ago.
At first i was really excited to get back to school and to meet new people and to get back to the study days.
Never would i have thought i have to struggle this badly.

#1 i haven gone back to school for a long long time.
A lot things had been thrown away or should i say permantly deleted from my human hard drive.
Suddenly ive got to start using powerpoints again and i so regretted not knowing photoshop during my earlier days of denial. (JUST BECAUSE I REFUSE TO PS MY CAM WHORE PICS)
Huge regret.

#2 Working in a group
I was so use to working with colleagues, people i dont know on a short term basis. Needless to say its either i have even contribution or i contribute more. So that sort of makes me the "leader" in the group.
Now that ive no background in design or fashion. I became a noob, the weakest and the most useless person in the group. So, i tend to procastinate my assignments ( BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO WHAT!) or if not, i give in lousy, low quality work.

#3 Acceptance
With such traits, i turned to someone that people fear to work with as i am the least productive the most unconvincing.
Hence, most suggestions given by me are either WTF or they are not worth considering.

#4 Ego
So i struggle for acceptance once again, i know in this real world when you ruin your first chance the second comes difficult. Not imposssible but tough.
I find myself battling with my own emotions so often which of cause were no help at all to my assignments and contributions.
After all the crying, hating and blaming of myself.
I force myself to brace up and start doing my research and working through late into the night.
If i cant accept my own failure, who would?
If i dont accept my own failure? how would success come by?



#5 Picking up the pieces
This is where i am now, putting aside my ego, previous experience and self proclaimed intelligence.
I start using my brain as a blank canvas, open to everything, never angry to anything, taking it as a pinch of salt.

#6  Regconition
(waiting in progress...)