Seriously...
i didnt blog the entire month!

This just shows how caught up i am with work and school.
When i was blogging real regularly, i have to think of what to blog.
Now that i dont, my fingers moved on like i have a pianist in me. (i used to be one though)
Well, ive finally started college few months ago.
At first i was really excited to get back to school and to meet new people and to get back to the study days.
Never would i have thought i have to struggle this badly.

#1 i haven gone back to school for a long long time.
A lot things had been thrown away or should i say permantly deleted from my human hard drive.
Suddenly ive got to start using powerpoints again and i so regretted not knowing photoshop during my earlier days of denial. (JUST BECAUSE I REFUSE TO PS MY CAM WHORE PICS)
Huge regret.

#2 Working in a group
I was so use to working with colleagues, people i dont know on a short term basis. Needless to say its either i have even contribution or i contribute more. So that sort of makes me the "leader" in the group.
Now that ive no background in design or fashion. I became a noob, the weakest and the most useless person in the group. So, i tend to procastinate my assignments ( BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO WHAT!) or if not, i give in lousy, low quality work.

#3 Acceptance
With such traits, i turned to someone that people fear to work with as i am the least productive the most unconvincing.
Hence, most suggestions given by me are either WTF or they are not worth considering.

#4 Ego
So i struggle for acceptance once again, i know in this real world when you ruin your first chance the second comes difficult. Not imposssible but tough.
I find myself battling with my own emotions so often which of cause were no help at all to my assignments and contributions.
After all the crying, hating and blaming of myself.
I force myself to brace up and start doing my research and working through late into the night.
If i cant accept my own failure, who would?
If i dont accept my own failure? how would success come by?



#5 Picking up the pieces
This is where i am now, putting aside my ego, previous experience and self proclaimed intelligence.
I start using my brain as a blank canvas, open to everything, never angry to anything, taking it as a pinch of salt.

#6  Regconition
(waiting in progress...)